Commissioner’s Corner: Sunday Lovin’

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Love, lanterns, slow jams, bocce balls. All things that were in the air Sunday night.

Alex’s Love/Hate List 

Love

Any Excuse to Play Slow Jams – When love is in the air, I bust out one of several carefully curated Valentine’s Day playlists. While we usually lean towards uptempo tunes at bocce, the boner jams were in full effect on Sunday. The truth though? Everyday is Valentine’s Day on my Spotify.

Perfect Parity – I can’t remember a league that seemed to be this competitively balanced. 12 out of 15 teams still have a shot at making the playoffs, the only team with a championship (2, in fact) is in danger of not making the playoffs, and the 1st place team was shut-out in a game earlier this year. When the Vegas books open up, bet heavy on a longshot!

Euchre Night – When Chewbocce is not busy winning exactly as many games as they lose, they keep the team together with a little euchre in between games. We used to have a team who played dice on the terrace to kill time. Additional extracurricular activities are always encouraged, as we want your bocce nights to always be about tradition and never obligation.

Tiger Style – It’s always nice to have friends who give away beer. It’s even better when they thrown in Tiger-Dragon-Monster masks. Big shout out to Tiger Beer for supplying us with some free beer, some cool swag, and helping us keep things exciting week to week.

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Deboccery went full tiger style by winning the game of the week and throwing of the elusive perfect game (15-0).

Kind of Love / Kind of Hate

The Perfect Ass-Kicking – Nine minutes into Sunday’s action, Deboccerry tossed the elusive perfect game, outscoring their opponent 15-0. While Deboccerry’s win wasn’t cheap – they did their damage with perfectly placed first balls – you hate to see one of your all-time favorite teams (which shall remain nameless) go down like that!

Shirts Optional – Speaking of Deboccerry, things got a little shirtless towards the end of the night. On the rare occasion that a holiday falls after a bocce night, you can usually expect an extra bottle of hot shot consumption. Our founding fathers would be proud.

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Sometimes you just need to take a photograph from the DJ booth.

Hate

Hammer Heads – The worst shot in bocce is the aggressive ‘hammer’. If you’re attempting to knock an opponent’s ball out, replacing theirs with yours is always ideal. You can’t accomplish that by throwing the ball 30 mph. And if you miss (which you usually do) then your ball is pulled from the board. Next time you go for a bocce, rev the speed up just one notch (think “if I miss this, my ball will roll 3-5 feet past my target”).

Premature Self-Depracation – I hate when I hear “whoops”, “oh no”, or any other bocce lament as soon the ball leaves the fingers. If you want to look good on the court, take this tip to heart: Do not openly criticize your toss until the ball has stopped rolling. When that weird curve comes into play or you get that sideways bounce off a rogue ball, own that shit and act like it was part of the plan the whooooooolllllleeeeee time.

 

STANDINGS

  1. Barack Obocce              8-2    +26
  2. Boccelism                       7-3    +46
  3. Bocced Circumcision  7-3    +43
  4. Deboccerry                     6-4    +21
  5. The Big Lebocces          6-4    +11
  6. Colls and Her Balls      6-4     +9
  7. Bocced                             6-4     +4
  8. Chewbocce                     5-5     +8
  9. Stranger Danger           5-5     +5
  10. Boccenalians                 5-5      +4
  11. Mugshots                       4-6     -16
  12. Chedda Bunnies           3-7     -30
  13. Kristi Yamabocce         2-8     -31
  14. Backyard BBQ                2-8    -41
  15. Jesus Take the Wheel  2-8    -61
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There’s Dave on the right. He’s the PER leader. Fear him. Aspire to be him.

TOP 24 PERS 

  1. David “Fisherman’s Wharf” Sartoris, Chewbocce, 25.25
  2. Chris Harnden, Bocced Circumcision, 24.74
  3. Ted Szczepaniak, Bocced, 23.85
  4. Eric Hines, Bocced Circumcision, 22.87
  5. Shane Lohman, Deboccerry, 22.66
  6. Matt Gambatese, Bocced Circumcision, 22.56
  7. Nathan Mullins, Chedda Bunnies, 22.08
  8. Megan Turk, Barack Obocce, 21.82
  9. Alex Mikos, Jesus Take the Wheel, 21.11
  10. Charlotte Arthur, Boccelism, 20.83
  11. Garrett Pappas, Stranger Danger, 20.17
  12. Jason Cohen, Chedda Bunnies, 20
  13. Kevin Wood, Barack Obocce, 19.88
  14. Joe Drake, Boccelism, 19.77
  15. Kendall Hugel, Stranger Danger, 19.77
  16. Kyle Troka, Barack Obocce, 19.76
  17. Brian Schneider, Deboccerry, 19.3
  18. Dan Kaman, Colls and Her Balls, 19.22
  19. John Brady, Stranger Danger, 19.12
  20. Rex Chekal, Kristi Yamabocce, 19.1
  21. Ryan Bay, Chewbocce, 18.89
  22. Lindsey Fisher, The Big Lebocces, 18.7
  23. Nick Kurtz, Boccelism, 18.52
  24. Marika Iszczyszyn, Bocced, 18.4

Players of the WEEK

John Brady and Kendall Hugel! This duo—and quite frankly this whole team—is definitely making a run for a spot in the playoffs. They had two wins this week with a +21 differential. If they can keep that up next week they may even bump up to 7th, securing their place in the championship bracket. Great work!

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