Taking Down #1

The hard thing about bringing friends into the bocce fold is that sometimes your friends are really good at bocce and they sit in first place like a bunch of assholes. Barack Obocce is that team. A couple of couples who are good friends who are goddamn winners. Stone cold killers, just destroying every team they come across. That’s our bad…and we’d like to apologize to everyone.

We’re sorry that you’ve had to play Barack Obocce. We’re sorry they beat you. We’re sorry that when they beat you they do it so decisively. We’re also sorry that we don’t quite know what that feels like.

Despite the fact that there was never more than a 2 point lead, and the fact that nobody scored more than 2 points in a given round, and the fact that Barack Obocce showed up with a new-to-Chicago, freshly single, very smart, very attractive woman to distract my questionably willed teammate…all it took was a quick mid game pep talk to straighten shit out. We kicked their asses.  

That’s right. We beat the #1 team in the league. Decisively. 8-7. Because time ran out.

Transitive property will tell you that we are now the best team in the Sunday night Chop Shop league. The standings will not.

Am I okay with the fact that we’re lagging back in 8th place with a 5-5 record? No. Am I okay with the fact that the team we just beat is up in first and getting all the pretty guys and girls to look at them sexually with their 8-2 record while we’re ignored because of our record? Yeah. I am. WE MADE YOU….but we also destroyed you.


Because time ran out.


Suck it.

Impeach Obocce (1)

Impeach Obocce 2016

Dave’s Stand Up Engagements

Dave Sartoris will be saying funny things into a microphone (or at least loudly and in front of people) at these times and places: Tomorrow (2/18) at The Store, Saturday at Dave’s house, Zanie’s in Old Town on Monday (2/22), and The Bedford the following Monday (2/29). Be about it.

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