Commissioner’s Corner: Matt’s Guest Blog


Finally FoolHouse

FoolHouse bring crazy amounts of energy and fun, but the crew from Parson’s has found it difficult to score more points than their opponents. They always follow the team credo of “Do You’re Best” and this week they did their best celebration after their first victory. FoolHouse had gotten to the threshold of victory, but Malortron kept chipping away to stay alive. The score was 11-9 to FoolHouse, but Malortron had the last ball of the frame in their hand with a chance at three points and the win. A slightly miscalibrated shot and a bust put the frame’s lone point in FoolHouse’s favor and the celebration began. Truth be told, they may still be celebrating when they arrive this Monday.

Level Up

Only three undefeated teams after the first two weeks of the year. Deboccery stands alone in the Err Lee Bird division and has the highest point differential of the three teams at +37. Newcomers Stranger Danger leads the Freaks in the Night division by a single point (+32 to +31). A perfectly calibrated team chemistry seems the common thread between these teams. Deboccery can switch a few players in and out if needed, but Sarah, Jay, Nick and Chris know exactly what role they excel in. Monica, Monty, Nick and George looked like the Golden State Warriors out there Monday night. Stranger Danger is a group of free agents that have swiftly risen from the “let’s give this bocce thing a shot” to “let’s win a title and hang out cuz we’re best friends now.”

Games of the Week Recap

Err Lee Bird: “Stab the air cuz this game is thick with intrigue” is what I thought when we cheers’ed at the start of this. What I said was something more along the lines of, “Get dirty out there guys and gals.” Scott’s match up against his former team—he dropped Keith, Lydia and Ashley like a bad habit heading into this season—was also his first game with his full new team—formerly Too Black boys Rick, Justin and Will (now known as Daddy’s Balls). Bocc’, Don’t Kill My Vibe put a quick 4-0 up on Daddy’s Balls after two frames, but then Daddy’s Balls took the next three frames and the lead at 5-4. That was as far as Daddy’s Balls would go, though, as an even and impressive team performance carried The Vibes to a 12-5 win.

Freak in the Night: The absence of team stalwarts Eric Clarke and Kate Smith left Wispy Danglers short and though the subs were sharp, Casey and Lee missed their counterparts. A couple of busts from the del Bocce Vista guys kept the game close, but in an older brother with their hand on your forehead and arm extended kind of way. So, when the game was called for time, it was dBV 9 and 6 for the Danglers.


Top 10 Ballers (Most balls-in on the week)

1. Jamie Briglio (Joanie <3s) 32

T2. Will Biby (Donatella) 28

T2. John Stallings (WowWow) 28

T4. Brian Webb (Hot Cheetos) 25

T4. Michael Snow (Tonsil Bocce) 25

T6. Sarah Fanto (Deboccery) 23

T6. Daniel Morrow (Tripping Balls) 23

8. Vanessa Garippo (Joanie <3s) 20

T9. Joe Ramirez (Menace II) 19

T9. Blake David (Vibe sub) 19


Top 5 Knockers (Most bocces on the week)

T1. Kendall Hugel (Stranger) 8

T1. Joe Ramirez (Menace II) 8

T3. Joe Meyer (Menace II) 7

T3. Elliott Robinson (Hot Cheetos) 7

T3. Matt Montgomery (Personality) 7


Casino Twins (Same duo with multiple casinos on the week)

  • Brian Webb and Ashley Eetickal (Hot Cheetos) 4  —> 3 in one game!
  • Nick Neu and George Rosch (Personality) 2
  • Jamie and Renee Briglio (Joanie <3s) 2
  • Sarah Fanto and Nick Leonard (Deboccery) 2


Player Shoutouts

John Stallings of Boccekawowwow put in the performance of the week. This guy can smile and he can throw a fucking stone. In their first game (against Oxtail’s Army), he put the team on his back and took em to a 12-3 victory by consistently putting the first ball directly onto the pallino and knocking the other team out if they tried to steal his team’s points. Their second game was a more balanced effort for the team, but John stood out as the best player on the court in another victory.

…There were some super sniper shots on my court that jump to mind. The ladies of Boccme Nae Nae weren’t necessarily consistent, but Taylor Browning threw a few dirty shots and then Sylvia Bednarz picked the pallino right off of the opponent’s kissing ball and took it down to her team’s balls to score three on a frame…

Blake David did some work in his second game of the night. Watch out if he’s a sub on the team you’re playing…

…Long-time player and pretty-new referee Dan Spomer is developing into a devastating player and Anita Wijic is starting to find her groove on the indoor courts after previous seasons at Parson’s and the Brass Monkey rooftop…

…While Jamie and Renee remain the top fraternal twin duo in the league, Garrett and John of Mr. Boccedere are working their way into contention.

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