GAMES TO WATCH
TEAM SHOUT OUTS
With an unexpected and un-Tonsil-like (missing 4 players!) victory over Daddy’s Balls on Monday, Tonsil Bocce locked up their second straight trip to the postseason and undoubtedly their best regular season showing in team history. Probably best known for the team our blog staffers write too much about, Tonsil Bocce has never been considered a formidable threat to win the playoffs—until now. Dan Brown has found the cure for his first-ball-blues and monosyllabic mainstays Dre and Snow have become one of the best 1-2 punches in the league.
Malortron must’ve gotten sick of that same ol’ story. The artists formerly known as ‘Jorts’ had a reputation of rolling out a very impressive regular season and baiting me into doubling down on the past season’s bet and picking them to win the ‘ship. Then they’d lose. Then I’d lose. Then we’d all drink shots. This season has had a much different feel. After a winless two and a half weeks Malortron was all-but-statistically eliminated. Now they have a legitimate chance and stealing a wild-card spot. If Malortron upends Hot Cheetos in Game 1 next week, there is a decent possibility that the boys-with-colorful-sleeves could see Frenemy Daniel “#thatssodaniel” Morrow in an epic wild-card round in the playoffs.
Bocceme Nae Nae definitely takes home the “as close to a good team without actually being a good team” award this season. Last time around, Donatella Verbocce made headlines by suffering three straight 1-pt losses. This season it feels like every one of Nae Nae’s losses has been by a single point. While the playoffs aren’t quite in the cards for these tough-as-nails gal pals (you can give me a Hot Shot for that one!), look for them to make serious noise in upcoming seasons.
FRONTRUNNERS / PROP BETS / TRIVIA
- Craig ‘White Mamba” Glover – Snakes on a Lane 9/2
- Matt ‘Monty’ Montgomery – Bocce Has a Great Personality 6/1
- Daniel “#thatssodaniel” Morrow – Tripping Balls – 6/1
- Scott Sanville – Daddy’s Balls 8/1
- Monica Siggelkov – Bocce Has a Great Personality 8/1
- Sarah Fanto – Deboccery 10/1
- Michael “Snow” Snow – Tonsil Bocce 12/1
- Dan Brown – Tonsil Bocce 15/1
Rookie of the Year
- Kurt Lewis – Itchy and Bocce 4/1
- Ben “technically he’s a rookie” Tudor – Bocc’ Don’t Kill My Vibe – 5/1
- Jake Peterson – Oxtail’s Army – 9/1
Most Improved Player
- Dan Brown – Tonsil Bocce 7/2
- Dana Gudel – Stranger Danger 6/1
- Pedro Mascorro – Foolhouse 6/1
OVER / UNDERS
- Teams that bow their heads, don’t say goodbye, and disappear into the sunset after an untimely defeat in this season’s playoffs: 3.5
- Times I play Bell BIv Devoe’s “Poison” over the next two weeks: 4
- Hot Shots awarded next week to Boccekawowwow for being our 1st ever Monday night forfeit: 8.5
- Nipples shown on the big screen from Karl’s collection of wacky videos for rest of season: 19
American Bocce Co. Trivia
- Which current three teams in our Monday night league have been apart of every session of league play since our inaugural leagues in May ’14?
- How many combined ‘Deboccery’s and ‘Big Lebocces’ have we had over the span of all our leagues? (alternate spellings accepted)
- Which three players have the best regular season winning percentage since the inception of our website (hint: they’re all on the same team)?
- In our current database, are their more teams with ‘bocce’ in their name or more teams with ‘balls’ in their name (teams with both words get tallies for both sides)?
- Who has received the most amount of career hot shots? (hint: I have no idea but I’m curious to know who you think it is)