Award Tour: Chop Shop Spring

Mondays at Chop Shop are the summit of Mount Bocce and this season has etched itself into the marble monument we’ve got up there. This was perhaps the most balanced season of bocce yet. The final week of the regular season had 14 teams vying for playoff participation and positioning.

We saw Stranger Danger—a fairly fresh to Mondays team—run out to a 6-0 start in the highly competitive Freaks at Nite division. While Stranger Danger was smoking the league early, the reassembled Malortron struggled along at 1-5. The script flipped in the second half of the season, though, and Malortron won out to make the playoffs as Stranger Danger plummeted out of them. The bocce gods are merciless.

Earl E. Bird top 4 records outshine the Freaks, but that’s not to say the rest of the division was a bunch of pushovers. The ladies of Bocc’ Me Nae Nae win the tough luck award with a +10 point differential and proved that there were few easy match ups for any E.E. Birds. The story to watch was Scott’s defection from Frankenstein’s Wet Dream to start up Daddy’s Balls. Ben took Scott’s spot and the re-named Bocc’ Don’t Kill My Vibe cruised to an 11-1 finish while Daddy’s Balls is the first Wild Card team.

Tonight’s playoffs are sure to have much celebration, fanfare and heartbreak. Whether your team plays to the end or bows out early, be sure to stick around. Prizes, drinks, hugs and the ‘Hawks on the big screen. On to the awards!

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Daniel Morrow, MVP. Get you a man who can do both.

MVP – Daniel Morrow

Runner Up – Kurt Pozsgay

You guys all know Daniel. You know, the gentle beanstalk who occasionally forgets when he orders a burger from the bar? Or you might know him as the moptop with the crouching tiger bocce stance? Or my original six-ers might know him as the guy who had his own hashtag, #thatssodaniel, on the wpbc instagram account? If you’ve been paying attention, maybe you know him as the steadfast supersub who has become the first American Bocce player to eclipse 300 balls in?  Until this season, Daniel might’ve been best described as reliable; a guaranteed good time at all things bocce. Daniel has followed ABC from the home courts to Chop Shop to our slanted summer at Kaiser Tiger and often rode the line between Hot Shot King and Journeyman Drifter. Back in the sand, Daniel could toss biscuits with the best of em. But as the competition grew we began to see Daniel more as the guy who shoves the pallino in his pocket, forgets about it, then leads a search party for 15 minutes before finally realizing the pallino’s been in his pocket the whole time kind-of-guy (true story!) then an MVP kind-of-guy.

But lately something #soundaniel has been happening that really, it can only be described as #sodaniel: he’s been kicking ass. Last season, Daniel’s team, Casino Royale with Cheese finished with an uninspired 5-7 record and failed to make much noise in a crowded ‘Freaks’ Division. Captain Kurt rejoined his Malort tribute band, Daniel asserted an aptly fit name change (Tripping Balls) and cruised to a wild-card birth. If you weren’t watching, then maybe you’d assume it was just a case of trimming the fat. Absolutely not. 1. That’s an expression that you just can’t use when referencing Kurt and Daniel and 2. Kurt played his balls off this season, riding an unprecedented 7-game winning streak to snag the last wild-card spot, and making a serious run at MVP himself.

So in a season where the competition was so tightly bunched up we celebrate a form of bocce mitosis – two former teammates and bocce OG’s splitting off and forging incredible and improbable seasons. We also celebrate loyalty, support, and family as we know we’d never be where we are without guys like Kurt and Daniel taking a chance on the WPBC two years ago. Daniel gets the edge because Kurt was expected to make the playoffs, and because his balls-in numbers are so damn steady. So damn Daniel.

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Get you a man who can do both. Kurt, the runner up.

1st Team

  • Matt Montgomery  (BHaGP)
  • Daniel Morrow  (Tripping Balls)
  • Kurt Pozsgay  (Malortron)
  • Dan Brown  (Tonsil Bocce)

2nd Team

  • Craig Glover  (Snakes on a Lane)
  • Scott Sanville  (Daddy’s Balls)
  • Dan Spomer  (Whiskey Balls)
  • Sarah Fanto  (Deboccery)

3rd Team

  • Jay Rosenblum  (Debocerry)
  • Andrew Benzer  (Malortron)
  • Brian Webb  (Hot Cheetos and Bocces)
  • Monica Siggelkov  (BHaGP)

Breakthrough Player

  • Dan Brown  (Tonsil Bocce)
  • Runner Up: Pedro Mascurro  (Foolhouse)

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Breakthrough Team

  • Foolhouse

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Ma-Halo Very Much

  • Kurt Pozsgay (14)
  • Craig Glover (14)
  • Jay Rosenblum (12)
  • Brian Webb (10)

Rising Star

  • Kurt Lewis  (Itchy & Bocce)
  • Runner Up: Dana Gudel  (Stranger Danger)

Hot Shot Court

  • Kings – Boccekawowwow
  • Queens – Joanie <3’s Bocce

End of Season Standings

Early Bird Babies 

  1. Bocc’ Don’t Kill My Vibe 11-1 +76
  2. Deboccery 10-2 +60
  3. Tonsil Bocce 10-2 +45
  4. Daddy’s Balls 9-3 +50 Wild Card Play In
  5. Menace II Bocce 6-6 +16 Wild Card Play In
  6. Boccekawowwow 6-6 -6 (the numbers say it all)
  7. Itchy and Bocce 6-6 -10
  8. Bocce me nae nae 4-8 +6
  9. Oxtail’s Army 4-8 -26
  10. Donatella Verbocce 4-8 -53
  11. The Big Lebocces 3-9 -48
  12. Ballsagna 2.OHH 1-11 -86

Freaks Come Out

  1. Snakes on a Lane 10-2 +55
  2. Bocce Has a Great Personality 8-4 +43
  3. Hot Cheetos and Bocces 8-4 +27
  4. Malortron 7-5 +32 Wild Card Play In
  5. Tripping Balls 7-5 +5 Wild Card Play In
  6. Stranger Danger 6-6 -1
  7. del Bocce Vista 5-7 -16
  8. FoolHouse 5-7 -30
  9. Whiskey Balls 5-7 -31
  10. Mr. Boccedere 4-8 -12
  11. Joanie <3’s Bocce Ballers 4-8 -22
  12. Wispy Danglers 2-10 -70

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